Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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