So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
