Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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