Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
