Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
