he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
