In the future we'll all be gay
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
