i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so let's talk penis.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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