Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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