hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
