We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
