I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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