I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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