bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
