Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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