I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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