it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
