margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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