ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
