What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My life is pants optional.
Randomize