every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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