Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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