bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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