his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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