I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
