chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I stole a fireplace last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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