the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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