A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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