Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
