Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
false alarm. still invincible.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
