if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
