She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
