i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize