You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
