I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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