I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
