One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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