Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
