Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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