No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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