Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
