in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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