What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
