scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize