he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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