So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
