So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
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