I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
