She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
