y did u give ur computer a hand job?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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