You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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