Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize