Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
