when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
