I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize