Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
