I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
