Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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