that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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