no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
