Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We had to coat check the pizza.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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