i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
