Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
