Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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