He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
