Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
