Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize