Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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