I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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