apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
