Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
