Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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