Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
