hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
