Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
