Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
