I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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