Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
